


Boss Inside

by cl0wnf11sh



Series: Mojavefic (Fallout New Vegas: The Ones With Mallory In Them) [1]
Category: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-typical language, Character Death, Drug Use, I Don't Even Know, Memory Loss, Songfic, sort of angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-06 16:23:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12821367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cl0wnf11sh/pseuds/cl0wnf11sh
Summary: Somewhere there's a princeAnd he likes to strike me downI know I'm not the reasonI'm just the one he found





	Boss Inside

_How do you find the guy around here  
I've already sped through a year_

One year. It makes Mallory's head hurt to think about it, more then it normally does, that it's been one entire fucking Gregorian year since Benny put his pistol to his forehead and fired. He'd only seen him once after that, so far, when he'd finally caught up to him in the Tops after months of fighting through the wasteland. He'd nearly shot him right then and there, but he'd somehow been sweet-talked into going to the Presidential Suite to talk, and he still curses himself for it to this day. He's supposed to be smart, how could he have been so stupid? 

At least Benny's goon squad hadn't been a force enough to kill him. Even then, though, something in him knows that he would have just come back from the dead again.

_I've already tried all the campus bars at night  
And even cried alone at the diner_

The Strip knows his name, though. Everyone knows his name at this point. It's a joke. For all everyone talks about big bad Mallory who killed all the Fiends and whipped the Omertas into shape and befriended the King, nobody remembers who he was before he was shot anymore then he does. He'd hoped that if he was notorious enough, someone would finally recognize him, find him and tell him who he was before that night. He has so many questions.

Maybe his name isn't even Mallory. 

He doesn't think about it too much- he just focuses his anger on Benny, and doesn't think about the intricacies of what the robbing of his memory really did to him. If he thinks about it too much, the walls of animosity and stubbornness all start to crumble away, and whoever's around him gets a look of what he's like when he's vulnerable. They're his friends, sure, they've seen him like that before, but only when he's alright with it, when he's feeling safe enough to let down his defenses. This isn't on his terms, so he curls up in the corner of the Vault 21 diner and pops some Med-X and thinks about how he's going to kill Benny when he finally finds him. 

_Somewhere there's a prince_  
_And he likes to strike me down_  
_I know I'm not the reason_  
_I'm just the one he found_

Mallory tries to remember that it could have been anyone. Maybe he never would have lost his memory if some other poor shmuck had taken the chip job (he still doesn't know why he was working as a courier, of all things, when he's obviously the greatest mind in the Mojave, but of course he'll never know that. The thought just infuriates him more, though, so he clouds his minds with chems whenever he does think about it. Nothing helps, none of the bullshit quack "coping mechanisms" Arcade tries to suggest make him feel any better, but he's convinced himself that once he finally, finally puts a bullet in his pretty face and kills him.

_And all these other cowards_  
_They're not hard to boss around_  
_You just get them in your arms  
_ _Then you hold them till they drown_

Somehow, despite how much of an idiot he was (he said shit like "smooth, like smooth little babies," for God's sake), Benny was the only halfway competent one around these parts. After Mallory murdered the Omerta leaders and gained the favor of the White Gloves, he's boss without question. Anyone who tries to stand up to him gets shot. Some people say he's just like Benny, somehow, just an up-and-coming leader scrambling for power, and for some reason those idiotic comparisons always strike way deeper then he expects. He rules with an iron fist, sure, but he's not _evil_ or anything, right? He tries to think of his friends in all those moments, but then all he can think of is all the times they've seen him weak. They don't see him as tough, but they do see him as a strung-out kid, in all likelihood. That's no better.

__

_I walked back to the cottage_  
_With no hand around my wrist  
_ _And I heard the sound of vodka bottles breaking_

Nothing matters now, though. It's finally time. He's gotten to Caeser's home base with a little sweet-talking and repetitions of overheard Latin (he's alone, of course, none of his friends would be ok with how friendly he's being to these bastards). Mallory gets to Caesar's tent easy, taking a look around the place and remembering all he can for later. When he steps inside, though, all he can see is Benny. Kneeling by the throne. 

He deals with all the niceties and manages to get through a conversation with the big man himself without offending him and getting his ass shot, and then, he's told that he gets to choose how to kill Benny. 

Finally.

__

_I went out to the clearing_  
_He was standing with a fist  
_ _But I couldn't see the face that he was making_

But, as he's turning to him, something about this just feels wrong. He's tied up, nearly naked, and he looks almost _grateful_ for his impending death. Mallory's wanted for so long to be able to make him beg for his useless life, do something dramatic like kick him off a cliff or hit him in the dick with a mini nuke, but Benny nearly looks ready to beg for death. He puts it off, heads down to the basement to supposedly do the Caesar's bidding. It's simple shit, of course, and obviously he activates the Securitrons instead of blowing them up. The old fuck won't know the difference, and he needs those things for when he goes back. 

__

_He said make me some dinner_  
_Said I thought you'd never ask_  
_He was standing in my kitchen  
_ _I was filling up his glass_

He's still feeling reluctant when he comes back. Mallory hates killing people he knows the names of, people he's talked to before, and Benny fits into that. This is stupid. He should want to kill him no matter what the circumstance is, but- he's getting nervous, sweaty, keeps chewing on his lip. He needs some Jet, but they took all his chems back at the entrance to camp. He walks towards Benny, and he smiles up at him all nervous, an expression that's made his blood boil every time he's seen it. 

Now he just feels sick.

__

_He finally started screaming_  
_And pointing to the bed_  
_He wanted me to kill him  
_ _But I took his life instead_

"C'mon, baby, don't drag it out like this. I'm not gettin' out of this shindig alive, so why don't you make it quick, huh?" Mallory tightens his grip on his pistol, loads it slowly, and Benny seems to think he's trying to play with him. He's just trying to stall again. "I could get you crucified, you know. Or just leave. Let them do whatever they want to you." Benny's expression goes pained and the grip on the pistol tightens at the sight of it, hands starting to shake. He notices. Of course he does. "Still on the chems, huh, baby? Shoulda known, you were hooked hard last time we talked." Mallory wants to throw up. He's acting so familiar, and it's making this way, way harder then it needs to be. He's been waiting for this for an entire year, he needs to get it over with.

The cold metal of the pistol's barrel presses against his forehead. "Don't call me baby." 

And then he fires. 

 

__

_Ugly moments strung together_  
_And the poor guy couldn't even find his temper_  
_And he could no longer make me cry_  
_I guess the boss inside of him died_  
_I guess the boss inside of him died  
_ _I guess the boss inside of him died_

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly don't know what this is. I'm supposed to be writing for my other fics, god dammit, but I've been on a big Fallout kick right now and this song (Boss Inside by Adam Green) reminded me of this way too much. More Fallout oneshots hopping around Mallory's storyline probably coming!


End file.
